OPINION

GOOD MORNING: Drowning in wires from helpful technology

Jerrie Whiteley
Herald Democrat
Jerrie Whiteley / Herald Democrat

Some days, I feel like I could climb to the top of the highest mountain and swim the swiftest rivers, other days, I wonder how I made it out of bed.

The days with the latter feeling, I've come to realize, are days when today's super connected technologically advanced world gets the best of me.

I like technology and I use it everyday in a million little ways. But, at the same time, I hate it. What I hate the most about it is all the little wires and thing-a-ma-bobs that come with it.

I am just about drowning in those things and I have the worst time keeping up with which cord goes with which appliance. For instance, a recent closet cleaning led me to find an IPod shuffle I though had long ago disappeared. It has been so long since I have even seen the thing that I am more than a little interested to know what is on it. Obviously, the battery was dead so I needed to charge it. Thus ensued a hunt through the draw of cords to find the one thing that would charge the shuffle. Luckily, it is a rather distinctive looking cord and I could still remember what it looked like. Also, luckily, I didn't throw it out thinking the device was long gone. 

As I write, it is sitting on the charger. A quick check of the internet said to give it about three hours. I am sure it is going to have my entire collection of Bon Jovi since I can no longer find the actual compact discs and am assuming I downloaded them and then gave away the hard copies, or they are buried in a box at the back of yet another closet.

But the wire thing isn't limited to the shuffle. I have probably three pairs of inexpensive wireless earphones. But I can't charge any of them because I can't find the charging wires. I also have two portable power whatchamacallits, but ditto their cords. Do modern day cords come with tiny little legs that sprout when the user isn't looking and allow them to run off an hide? 

I have made several attempts at organizing all of these things. I bought bins and baskets and all manner of little bags. But still here I sit in a pile of unidentified cords with devices I can't get to work because I can't get them powered up. Some smarty-pants person out there should invent some sort of homing beacon for devices that calls their cords to them. Maybe each could have a light on it and when the device is running low on power it could send a message to the cord and the light on the cord could light up so I would know which two things go together? 

Please do not write me and tell me to put labels on everything. I have tried that. They wear off or smudge or tempted the schnauzer into carrying the whole thing off and I don't find it for months and only then when I am looking for a shoe under a bed or sofa or something.

All electronics and every ink pen should come with some sort of sprayed on coating that makes them instantly distasteful to small children and every kind of pet. My floors are littered with doggie toys but none of them can hold the interest of the house's only four-legged occupant once the sound of a pen dropping to the floor is heard.