Lifestyle

INNOVO shorts provide stimulation to eliminate incontinence

DEAR DR. ROACH: I have seen news reports of many positive results from people using INNOVO, the FDA-approved shorts that provide electrical pelvic muscle stimulation, to possibly eliminate incontinence entirely. I also have heard that insurance companies may help pay the cost of these shorts. Since this may help many of your readers, can you comment on this product, which I’ve heard described as a “life-changer” from many of its users? -- Anon.

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The Ides of May

Spring is definitely here. Something ate my Liatris, leaving only a neatly excavated hole. Rabbits? Deer? The greenhouse door with plywood or particle board between two sheets of metal has a pile of sawdust directly below the outside edge. Carpenter bee, carpenter ant or woodborer beetle? My place is so tasty.

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Moments with the Minister: Blood sacrifice

Offer a bloody sacrifice It used to be the thing to do Take a young lamb, slit its throat Collect the blood in a bucket Pour it on a stony altar Offer God its bleating, bleeding life And then there’d be a barbecue Fresh meat cooked on a spit A family gathered Thanking God And food enough for everyone It was a shift from what had been A child offered to appease the gods Insure a good harvest Fertility for the coming year Abraham walked Isaac up a hill To make the offering If it’s what God wants I’ll give it to him This child we’ve dreamed of This hope for generations to come Yahweh sent a ram Caught in the brambles This will do It will more than do Yahweh’s way of saying Don’t sacrifice your kids for me For religion Don’t sacrifice your greatest hopes Have a barbecue instead Abraham must’ve gone skipping down that mountain trail Sarah, fetch the picnic blanket No child sacrifice God doesn’t want it Archeologists tell stories Of children sacrificed Virgins tossed into a volcano Children’s blood running down the steps of pyramids Young ones’ bones shattered on rocks To please the gods

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