Since moving into my house last August, cleaning out the old shed had been Public Enemy No. 1 on my list of honey do’s.

Since moving into my house last August, cleaning out the old shed had been Public Enemy No. 1 on my list of honey do’s.


First of all, this particular shed was apparently constructed of some sort of hyper-conductive metal that makes the space unbearably hot anytime outdoor conditions rise above freezing. During the warmer months, I sit on the porch and wait for the inevitable spontaneous combustion once the temperature inside surpasses that of a small star.


Secondly, I had refused to clean the shed on principle. The space is too small to function as a true shop, but large enough to be useful for major storage. As such, its existence is blocking my spouse’s "OK" to build something truly functional, like, say, a woodworking-shop-cum-mancave with necessities like a table saw and kegerator. My little shed is just practical enough to be counter-productive to this goal.


But the main reason I was dreading this particular project was that the stuff inside the shed wasn’t even my stuff. It was all left there by the previous owner. Who knows what I’d find among his possessions that were too important to discard but not important enough to move. Whatever was in that shed, I was pretty sure formaldehyde would be involved.


But spurred by the sickeningly nice weather and a Sunday without football, yesterday I dove in.


It was like the worst episode of Storage Wars you’ve ever seen. It was almost embarrassing, my wife and I "Oooo!"ing and "Ah!"ing at every box of chipped tile and half-full quart of motor oil. Items that would have been rejected by three-in-four hobos were suddenly found treasure. A rolling cooler missing half its handles is now my most prized possession.


It wasn’t all good stuff. Notably, the skeletal remains of one of those face-gripping creatures from "Aliens" and mouse droppings from the ROUS in "The Princess Bride" were causes for concern. But overall, the shed proved to be a marginally profitable and surprisingly enjoyable experience. Now if I could only work up the courage to look in the attic…



Happy birthday Tuesday to Randy Reddell, Brandon Hughes, Iycess Walker, Janiah Jacobs, Malisa Cone, Annie Hughley, Semaj Orum and Mary Kay McKinney, all of Sherman; Charles Kelly of Denison; Bonnie McCourtney of Vancouver, Wash.; Donna Kanady Hatch of Corpus Christi; Ronnie Jack Giles of Chandler, Texas; Richard Edward Nelson of Mansfield; Jim Smajstrla of Round Rock; Nicholas Bethea of McKinney; Easton Neal of Bells; Kelli Souther of Pottsboro; Duran Collins of Garland; Emrie Wallace of Tom Bean; Charles Huddleston of Luella.